doing it all (and taking a break)

I had a production meeting on Monday afternoon that was something akin to a three-ring circus. I was seated at my kitchen counter in front of my laptop, while the lights above flickered. BGE workers pounded the pavement outside my open living room windows. My videoconferencing software kept crashing -- every time I needed (ok, was hoping to!) say something poignant. I had a raging head cold that made me sound like a lounge singer who had smoked for 60 years. And my two-year old was sitting on the floor next to me with a blanket over her head yelling "FIRE! FIRE!"

Yeah, this is doing it all.

As moms (or all parents really), we have a lot of balls we keep in up in the air. I don't know that there is a magic tip for getting everything accomplished. Rather, I think it's simply a survival strategy:

You prioritize. You evaluate. You act. Repeat.

The toddler was yelling "FIRE!" Obviously, she needed attention. Obviously, trying to focus on my meeting and her needs simultaneously wasn't working. Obviously, something needed to change.

I quit my job. {{Whew.}}

I am lucky. I had a job I loved that allowed me to work from home most of the time, gave me a ton of flexibility and a boss who understood -- and appreciated -- family balance.

Even with all of that flexibility, I realized that I needed more. Freedom to be my own worst enemy in terms of how I managed my work. A new challenge. The ability to go for a bike ride with my daughter at 10:00 AM on a Monday and not feel guilty or that I was wasting 'company time.' Even if I did make up for it by working until 2 AM that night.

So I quit. And decided to open up a consulting firm. Be my own boss.

Prioritize. Evaluate. Act. Repeat.

The thing about major life decisions like this is that they come smack dab in the middle of the crazy, hectic routine of every day life with a family. Just because your (ok my) world is radically change, it doesn't change the fact that the dog needs to be groomed, the toddler's preschool paperwork was filled out incorrectly by the doctor's office, the car needs an oil change, my sister's 24th birthday is next week and I don't have a brilliant gift idea yet, I volunteered to bake cookies for 150 this weekend, or that I've been carrying around a good friend's birthday card and three gifts that need to be mailed for a WEEK...

Sound like your life? That's why it's important to take a break. And why I'm headed for a little me-time mini-break this weekend instead of getting the oil changed. I'll do that next week.

Eversave recently surveyed more than 700 moms to find our how they "do it all." Data showed that moms stress about money, their kids, finding time with their spouses and do everything from shove things in closets before guests come over to nab fast food once a week in order to save time. Where do moms skimp? I'm sure you're not surprised by this... they skimp when it comes to themselves.

The short? Eversave wants to give moms a mini-break. So Eversave Baltimore is running a fabulous deal today: $22 for a mani/pedi at We Treat Feet. And one lucky (cool) progeny reader is nabbing the deal for herself and a friend. For FREE. Need a mini-break? Fill out this quick form to be entered in the random drawing. We'll announce the winner on Friday!

My last 'official' day of work is Friday. I have a feeling Monday is the start of one wild ride. Luckily, I have lots (and I mean LOTS) to look forward to. Including some fantastic new ventures for (cool) progeny I just can't wait to share.

(cool) tip: To keep up with all Baltimore Eversave Deals, follow them on Twitter and 'like' them on Facebook!


Disclaimer: This post is part of Eversave's "I Don't Know How She Does It" Blog Carnival. I received a free mani/pedi Eversave deal as part of sharing my thoughts on doing it all, and hosting a mani/pedi giveaway. Want to know how other moms are doing it all? Check out the carnival at www.momgenerations.com.

tech thursday: do you take your coffee with a splash of smart phone?

When Jennifer Cooper and I first discussed the whole idea of Tech Thursday, we wanted to be sure we stuck with discussions that looked thoughtfully at the intersection of technology and family.

So today, I want to talk about your morning coffee.

Say what? How is that remotely related to technology and family?

Mornings, at least when I was growing up, was a time to catch up with the other inhabitants of my house. We'd crack open a box of cereal, chat about what was on tap for the day, and pack our lunches. Before you get too nostalgic about the good ole, wholesome 80s (did I really just say that?), I should also include that these mornings included a lot of yelling up the stairs at my brother to get a move on, and frequently ended with rushing out of the front door and some much-needed object inevitably being left on the kitchen counter.

Fast forward to today. My mornings include a facebook check, email check, text message check, usually some multimedia forward of photo or video via my iPhone to a family member or friend, weather.com or Foot's Forecast perusal, and scan of the major newspapers on my laptop while throwing down one or two cups of liquid caffeine. Plus getting the Bug up, ready and fed. Mix in a brief stint of educational programming - - say Sesame Street -- that I stream through netflix or comcast on demand.

Has technology ruined our morning family time?

Two years ago, the New York Times ran a front-page article on the "new" morning routine of families:

This is morning in America in the Internet age. After six to eight hours of network deprivation — also known as sleep — people are increasingly waking up and lunging for cellphones and laptops, sometimes even before swinging their legs to the floor and tending to more biologically urgent activities.

Yes, that's an accurate depiction of my post-alarm clock activities. Of course, my mornings become a lot more complex and less tech-focused after the Bug wakes up, but I'm still attached to my iPhone.

So, back to coffee. Do you take yours with a splash of tech or a whole heaping helping? Has technology impacted your morning family time? What does the 'typical' family morning routine look like in the digital age?

I'll be checking my smart phone for your comments...

- - - -
Technology Thursday is a joint project of Classic Play! and (cool) progeny. Each week, both blogs will be taking on a family-technology-related issue. We invite you to join the conversation!

Past discussions in this series include

• Is technology bringing back our grandparents' values?
  Tech Thursday: What Would Nana Say?
  
• A family that games together stays together?
  Tech Thursday: Can Gaming Make you a Better Parent
• Should schools turn to gaming to teach our boys?
  Tech Thursday: Boys and Gaming
• Cyber lessons to pass onto next generation
  Tech Thursday: Cyber Civility

make 2011 the YEAR of play (because Einstein never used flashcards)

Our friends over at Classic Play have dubbed 2011 "The Year of Play." And we're joining in on the fun.

This week is a full week of PLAY. And we'll be continuing the series through 2011.

We're all guilty (?) of wanting to give our children the best possible foundation to become the best possible people. Intelligent. Healthy. Kind. Compassionate. Appreciative of the arts. Those are just a few of descriptive phrases that come to mind when I think of the kind of person I hope my daughter becomes.

And that's where the panic sets in. However will she get in to college if "my baby can't read?" (Anyone else want to blast those commercials from the sprout-o-sphere?) If she's going to be bilingual, doesn't she need to start Spanish classes at 6 months old? What about dance class, soccer, and painting lessons? She'll need to start those early if she's going to be 'well rounded." And of course, eventually we'll have to fit in leadership courses and time for giving back to the community. Maybe we can schedule that in between 4:15 PM and 4:52 PM. Because that's all she'll have time for if she 'needs' all these things. And 37 minutes of working on a community service initiative will be "meaningful." She'll really understand the concept of giving back if she can just squeeeeeezzzeee in a little time.

Fact is, we've turned ourselves into a generation of paranoid schizophrenic parents. And what we really need to do is kick our kids -- and ourselves -- back into play.

My friends, Einstein never used flashcards.

{{Aside: we do have the Discovery Kids My First Words Touch and Feel cards. The Bug loves them - - but we use them to put together stories, not to drill.}}

From a recent New York Times' article on the movement to restore play:

Too little playtime may seem to rank far down on the list of society’s worries, but the scientists, psychologists, educators and others who are part of the play movement say that most of the social and intellectual skills one needs to succeed in life and work are first developed through childhood play. Children learn to control their impulses through games like Simon Says, play advocates believe, and they learn to solve problems, negotiate, think creatively and work as a team when they dig together in a sandbox or build a fort with sofa cushions.

So we're jumping on the Year of Play bandwagon. This week, we've got posts coming your way on our favorite local places to get your kids' play on, throwing a sledding party, this whole thing called 'play groups' and ideas to spark play in your own living room. No rush to {{insert your favorite toy store here}}. You'll have it all lying around the house.

And many thanks to Jen Cooper and the Classic Play contributors for this fabulous idea! Check out Jen's post on making 2011 the Year of Play. Yeah. We're pretty sure you'll join the movement, too.

PS: You all know I'm an educational technologist. So no, I'm not about doing away with technology or depriving kids of multimedia. That is a HUGE skill that we need to learn alongside our kids. After all, they are the true digital natives. I'm just about balance. Getting to whatever zen means for you and your family.



image credit: Classic Play

That little thing called family organization... on the go

Last week I went on my first four day business trip since the Bug was born (remember the post brought to you by the letter G for guilt?). Trying to schedule four days of childcare when you're the primary caregiver for two of those days is a bit like trying to herd cats. I can't imagine how much more of a puzzle it would have been had I needed to throw things like soccer practice, school and dentist appointments into the mix.

But my color coded paper calendar insanity left something to be desired. So now I'm shopping for a digital solution that will make scheduling family things a little easier. Here are a few tools I've found and thought I'd share:

MomAgenda iPad App

This particular $4.99 tool has GREAT features like creating and integrating calendars for individual family members, as well as individualized weather forecast by zipcode. Would LOVE an iPhone App... and for those of you who have a soft spot for MomAgenda and want an iPhone App, too, weigh in on the conversation! They want to know what features are non negotiable, which are ok to leave out and how to make it most functional for YOU. As one MomAgenda Facebook Follower said today, all I want for Christmas is an iPhone App. Maybe? :)

Cozi

This handy little online tool is FREE and allows you to integrate multiple family member calendars, to dos and grocery lists. There is even a $1.99 iPhone App that let's you keep Family's command central up to date on the go. Not an iPhone owner? Cozi has an easy-to-read mobile interface for your Palm or Blackberry. Downside? Free equates to ads (something has to keep this website spinning). That said, some of the ads feature great deals. Personally, I like the simple interface and the ability to send text messages and emails to family members right from the Cozi interface.

Google Calendar

Easy. Simple. Free. Create a different calendar for each family member (color coded, of course) and display all of the calendars on a master family one. I probably have the least to say about this one because it's so seamless and I'm already using it for work. But as far as organization goes, it really is just a calendar. If you're looking for a more robust tool, keep reading.

Famundo Social

Famundo for Families is another free online tool that allows calendar sharing, document sharing, photo sharing and more. In addition to creating a virtual 'command central' for your family, it allows you to create a mini-social network of friends and family. Not a bad way to keep in communication with distant relatives if you have privacy concerns. I had trouble logging into the demo for this - - perhaps it was a Firefox browser issue? Famundo does have a really nice forum area where users can request features and propose new ideas.

My Family Day Planner

Another FREE online tool that allows you to maintain a calendar, shopping lists, and assign tasks to family members. A few different features that might be appealing? A shared recipe repository and menu planning feature. A very simple design that will appease minimalists!

YadaHome

The first thing that grabs your attention with this online tool is the graphic layout of your homepage. It looks like your kitchen! Click on the fridge for your contacts, grocery and to do lists. You can even customize the fridge with a few digital photos! Send messages, create a recipe cookbook -- this is a pretty impressive integrated tool. There is also a journal feature... does anyone really use the journal features in these tools? Yes. This tool goes mobile with an iPhone app and apps for Blackberry and Droid. Did I mention that Coupon Finder is integrated with this particular tool? That kinda rocks in my opinion. Who has time to scavenge for coups?

So, which digital tools are you using to organize your family? Any advice?

Family-Related vs. Work-Related: Why my life doesn't fall into neat little categories

I'm sure you've heard the news by now. Women are closing the currency gap between themselves and their male counterparts. Or even out-earning (See USA Today article).

As a footnote, these news blurbs note that "women earning the most income are under 35, unmarried, and don't have children."

Clearly, these women have made a choice, are intelligent or excellent managers, and have been fiscally rewarded. I myself have made a different one.

I turned 28 a few weeks ago (gasp - - I know. I DID publicly reveal my age). I have a master's degree and hold a managerial title for a university-based non-profit. I celebrated my second wedding anniversary and my first child's first birthday this past June.

When I learned my husband and I were expecting, there was never a question in my mind that I would return to work after maternity leave. My professional identity has always been important to me and a piece of who I am. I thought it would be a disservice to my family if I gave that up.

But I wasn't sacrificing my family or my child's development for my job.

So I juggle. Meetings, play dates, nap times, conference calls, events, planning sessions, lunches, playground visits, interviews, laundry, friends, doctors appointments, commuting, interviews, blocks, playdough...

Kinda makes me tired just thinking about it.

And while I might not have the time to network every evening like my non-child-rearing counterparts, you bet I make time for an important social event. And story hour. And mommy-and-me. And a walk by myself every now and then.

My life doesn't fall into neat little categories. I can't shuffle things into neat little "family-related," "work-related," "friend-related," and "me-related" piles or chunks of time. I prioritize, shift and everything is categorized as "my life related." Everything in my life is entwined. Or maybe I'm just not facile in compartmentalizing.

While I applaud women who are shattering that glass ceiling, I keep going back to my mom's story. Young attorney. Three active kids. Yet, she made every school function, teacher's meeting, I-missed-the-bus-and-need-a-ride-to-school, dance class, tennis match… you name it.

Thirty years later, did she make partner in a big downtown law firm? No. She's partner in her own private practice. She had to go out on her own in order to have flexibility to work and raise her kids the way she wanted. If you ask her now, she wouldn't have had it any other way.

I've had the great privilege of meeting many fabulous moms out there who were on the fast track in a corporate setting, but felt pressured to leave and start their own companies so they could create a culture of family in their workplace. A lot of times these 'workplaces' are their own living room.

Have we really come that far then? Or is today's corporate environment morphing into a gender-reversed MadMen episode?

It seems that 'family' still hasn't permeated corporate culture. Isn’t it about time we changed that?

Photo credit: http://www.qualtrics.com/blog/women-children-and-work-spotlight-study-from-macquarie-university/